i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
someone owes me an orgasm
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
