so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
