She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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