if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
