my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
