tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
