You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
porn star boner night. come get it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
