I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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