Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
