Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
