Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
