Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize