i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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