Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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