I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
