at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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