Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
