i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
