Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
