I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
