You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
