Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
