we have officially lost it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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