Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
