New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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