they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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