To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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