I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
