My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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