I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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