K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's never too late to be topless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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