That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
