There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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