By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
