I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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