a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
