i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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