This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
