just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
