We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
