Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
