Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
