guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
