I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize