omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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