Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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