i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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