is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
