I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
