so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
