I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
