Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
