did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
