hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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