it was like his penis was on wheels.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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