I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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