theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
