I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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