Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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