Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
