she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
