I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
