we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
